My Mangekyo Sharingan Can't Save My Hero Academia

Chapter 196 196: Side story Chapter

Please Note that this Chapter is set in an alternate universe and has no connection to the main plot and is purely for fun.

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Alternate Universe/Musutafu Japan, U.A high school. The cup of tea on Principal Nezu's desk was exactly 72 degrees Celsius. It was the optimal temperature for chamomile, a fact that Shota Aizawa currently did not care about in the slightest as he stared at the small child sitting on the plush sofa across from him.

Eri was holding a yellow legal pad that was nearly as large as her torso. In her right hand, she wielded a thick blue crayon with absolute, unblinking seriousness.

"Thank you for coming, Shota," Nezu said from behind his desk, his paws neatly folded. "Eri has approached the faculty with a matter of grave institutional importance. Given your role as class 1-A's homeroom teacher, your presence was deemed mandatory."

"What does this have to do with me being 1A's homeroom teacher?"

"You are the one teaching her brother after all." Nezu replied cheerily. "She has an important assignment to complete. Naturally for which she needs clear answers. Who better to do so than you?"

There was a moment of silence. Finally, Aizawa let out a long sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose. 'I guess I shouldn't have expected much.' Having Eri here alone meant whatever the matter was, it wasn't serious.

After all, two years had passed since the final war. Japan had stabilized. The League of Villains had fallen. Hero society, for once, was quiet.

Yuta — now Japan's Number One Hero — was currently down the hall running a tactical seminar for sidekicks.

Eri's quirk stabilization had been resolved eight months ago. She was enrolled in early elementary classes under U.A.'s affiliated education program.

If there were a real crisis, someone else would probably be here bringing the sky down with him.

Still… "Eri," Aizawa looked down at her and said with a tired sigh. "If this is about homework, your brother is literally down the hall. Just ask him."

"No," she said, gripping her crayon tighter. "I can't ask Oni-chan."

She paused, mulling over her words. Then said very seriously: "He is the… the subject of examination."

Aizawa blinked.

"… Subject of examination?"

Eri nodded. "I heard ... If I ask him, then he will say what he thinks," she explained carefully, or as carefully as she could. Her expression clearly showing she was struggling to put what she heard into words.

"And then ... the data gets contaminated, and it won't be real. That is what the lady on the science channel said."

Aizawa's left eyebrow twitched. He looked at Nezu, who was currently smiling with pure delight. "She is entirely correct, Shota," Nezu said, lifting his cup. "Unbiased observation requires separation from the subject. It would seem Eri's schooling was well chosen to have such a remarkable grasp of the scientific method."

Aizawa looked at the principal who in recent months, had developed a penchant for these kinds of things with a deadpan stare. "She is seven."

"And remarkably disciplined," Nezu replied. "Age aside, the methodology is very sound. Isolating variables. Controlling for bias. And collecting observational data over time."

Aizawa exhaled through his nose. He had spent the last six hours reviewing patrol schedules and regional utility anomalies. His sleeping bag was still resting empty in the faculty lounge, comfortably waiting for him.

"Then what exactly are you observing?"

Eri lifted the legal pad with both hands. On it, written in large uneven crayon letters: ONI-CHAN BEHAVIOUR

"Behaviour patterns?" The underground hero raised an eyebrow. "Fine then. Let's get this over with. What is the reason for this grand investigation, Eri?"

Eri sat up straighter.

Her expression became incredibly serious. Then she declared. "I think ... I think Oni-chan likes an old lady." The silence that followed was profound. Aizawa froze. The cup of chamomile tea froze halfway to Nezu's mouth.

For three full seconds, the only sound in the office was the quiet hum of the mini-fridge in the corner.

"...What?"

Eri nodded. "I think he does."

Slowly, Nezu set his cup down, his black eyes practically glittering with amusement. "Oh? Do continue, Eri-chan. The faculty is listening."

"Indeed Eri. How did you come to this conclusion?"

Facing Aizawa's intense expression, Eri lowered her head.

"I ... I collected evidence." She said, quickly flipping to the first page, showing her written analysis made with crayons.

"First," she began, focusing on what she wrote. "Oni-chan doesn't spend much time at home anymore."

The light in Nezu's eyes seemed to burn brighter. "Is that wrong Eri?"

"Mhmm, very wrong." She bobbed her head like this was the most obvious thing in the world.

""Oni-chan doesn't spend much time at home anymore. First, he promised every Sunday." She held up three fingers.

"Then every two Sundays."

Two fingers.

"Then once a month." One finger.

"And then..." Eri lowered her head. "He started saying 'next time.'"

Aizawa sighed. That... That actually sounded exactly like Yuta. "Oni-chan doesn't have time for our playdates anymore."

Aizawa let out a long, heavy sigh, shifting his weight forward on the plush sofa. He rubbed the side of his head, feeling the faint beginnings of a stress headache forming.

"Eri," Aizawa closed his eyes. "Yuta is the Number One Hero. The entire infrastructure of the post-war recovery relies on his efficiency. He is incredibly busy. It's not a matter of him forgetting you." He opened them. "This is unfair to you and it may sound greedy, but everyone in Japan needs him now."

"I know." Her cheeks puffed out again. "I ... I understand, but that's not .. I am not talking about that."

"It's when he comes home. Normally, that should be my time with him ... But I realized that .." her voice carried a hint of indignation. "Whenever he comes ..."

She clenched her writing pad. "That rabbit lady shows up not long after."

"..." Aizawa froze.

Nezu's ears perked up. "Oh dear." Connecting it to her ... Hypothesis, even the principal was somewhat stunned.

"You mean the rabbit hero? Mirko?" Eri nodded vigorously and opened the next page of her notebook. The page contained a stick figure with messy red hair. Beside him was another stick figure with absurdly huge rabbit ears. Above them were the words written all over, CASE FILE ONE. "My second evidence ... While my playing has reduced ... Rabbit Lady's visits have increased to four times a week."

"Her name is Mirko." Aizawa adjusted his capture scarf and looked at Nezu who was currently all smiles. "And she's a Pro Hero who works with your brother to keep everyone safe."

"Then why do they fight all the time?"

".." Aizawa paused. "That's ..." Everyone was well aware of Mirko's battle tendencies. Even with the end of the war, to prevent being targeted by villains, the Akutami family still lived in U.A. High school.

So the Number Six Hero, the Rabbit Hero Mirko, had a perfectly good reason to keep showing up at U.A. Yuta lived there.

And unfortunately for everyone involved, Mirko had long since decided that the best way to relax after work was to fight the Number One Hero until one of them broke the training grounds.

Every time she came over, it was practically the same lines.

"YUTA!"

"Get outside!"

"Fight me!"

The school had stopped questioning it.

Explaining any of this to an eight-year-old, however, was proving considerably more difficult.

"That's her nature, Eri" Aizawa explained after a moment. "It's a bit complicated to explain. Just thinking of it as her way of playing."

Eri paused, looked conflicted, then shook her head and replied in her soft tone.

"That .. doesn't seem right. Big brother has always told me to stay away from violent people. If two people fight, it means they don't like each other, and Onichan fights with her all the time."

Across the desk, Nezu's shoulders began shaking.

"Eri dear, is it possible that the old lady you think your brother likes is Mirko?"

Eri nodded. "I've heard sister Nejire talk about relationships. She says ... When someone likes someone else, they spend more time with them and forget about other people ... And I ..." She lowered her head a bit. "I want Yuta to be happy, but I also don't want to be forgotten."

Then raised it back up again, eyes gleaming with determination. "Which is why I want to know if Yuta likes that rabbit lady. If I ask him myself, he'll just refuse it .."

Aizawa sighed for the nth time. "Eri, ... Your brother is just a bit busy. He is not forgetting you. As for Mirko ... I can assure you that your brother doesn't like her in the way you think."

"But ... That doesn't feel right." Eri's brows furrowed, clearly not understanding. She had spent a considerable amount of time with the girls watching romance TV shows and had seen what liking looks like.

'She is always around, brother never chases her away ... and she gets very close to his face like they're going to kiss.'

Well, that last one didn't really seem to be a big deal.

After all, sister Nejire and sister Hatsume both do the same thing so it doesn't seem too big of a deal.

But ..

"She comes over all the time! She is loud! She eats all the snacks! And even breaks things from time to time. Yet whenever that loud rabbit lady shows up, and breaks stuff, he doesn't even get angry."

"Well ..."

"Then Oni-chan goes outside, they argue, then fight for two hours."

"Spar."

"Then she always leaves smiling." Eri looked defiant. "Even if it's just playing as you say, her playtime is eating into my Oni-chan's playtime hours with me."

Nezu was almost cackling at this point.

"Eri," Aizawa's tone grew more serious. If he didn't put a firm stop on this domestic absurdity, the situation would completely drain what little stamina he had left. "You shouldn't say things like that casually. Your brother is a professional. Their fighting is just spars and he accommodates her because it also sharpens his own instincts as a pro hero. It has nothing to do with personal preference." He paused, mulling over his words. "That's something you'll understand when you grow up."

Eri's cheeks puffed up so much they nearly swallowed her nose. She looked at the underground hero with absolute defiance, completely unswayed by his logical teacher arguments."That's not what Mirio-Senpai says."

Now it was Aizawa's turn to be confused.

"Huh? What does Mirio have to do with this?"

As the Number Two Hero, Mirio was just as busy, if not even more so, than the Number One. After all, the former had far greater enthusiasm for the actual public relations aspect of the job than Yuta did, who treated hero work like a nine to five job.

Eri adjusted her grip on the giant legal pad, tapping the blue crayon against her chin as she recalled the conversation.

"He was visiting the campus yesterday to drop off sweet potatoes," Eri explained, her voice entirely earnest. "I was sitting on the bench by the lockers, feeling bad because Oni-chan had to cancel our board game night again. So I asked Mirio-Senpai what I should do if Oni-chan is spending all his free time with another girl instead of me."

Aizawa felt a cold dread sink into his stomach. He could already see the train wreck coming.

"And what exactly did Togata say?"

"He laughed very big, like he always does," Eri said, mimicking Mirio by raising a single finger in the air with dramatic flare. "And then he said, 'Ah, that's simple, Eri-chan! Your big brother probably likes her very much!'"

Nezu let out a muffled, delighted squeak, burying his face deeper into his paws.

"I didn't understand," Eri continued, her brows furrowing at the memory. "So I asked him why. And Mirio-Senpai looked very wise and told me, 'It's something you'll understand when you grow up. See, when adults like-like each other, they want to spend all their time together, and they even go as far as bickering and fighting with each other because they're full of energy!'"

Aizawa's left eyelid began to twitch violently. 'Togata, you idiot.' Mirio had clearly assumed Eri was talking about one of Yuta's teenage classmates, like Hagakure or Uraraka, and had tried to give a safe, generic 'adults argue when they have crushes' explanation.

He had completely failed to realize that Eri's literal, childlike brain would immediately apply that exact definition to the most violent, loud, and destructive relationship she regularly witnessed.

"So," Eri concluded, her eyes widening with absolute triumph as she pointed at her crayon drawing. "I looked at Mirio-Senpai and asked, 'So does that mean Yuta likes that loud rabbit lady that comes over all the time?'"

Aizawa stared. "And how did Togata react?"

"He looked like he swallowed a whole lemon," Eri said innocently. "He went completely still. Then he started shaking and went, 'Mirko? Oh, well, I... uh...' and his face got very sweaty. But then his phone started making the loud emergency beep. He yelled, 'Oh! There's a villain attack downtown! I have to run, Eri-chan!' and then he fell through the floor and ran away very fast."

The principal's office was dead silent for three seconds. Then, Nezu finally lost all composure, letting out a series of high-pitched, cackling laughs that had him wiping a tear from his dark eye.

"A flawless deduction based on expert testimony!" Nezu cheered, raising his chamomile tea in a toast to the little girl. "Eri-chan, your investigation is a triumph of academic synthesis!"

Aizawa didn't laugh. He just sat there, his eyes twitching, a dark, murderous aura slowly radiating from his capture scarf.

"Mirio," his knuckles turned white as he clenched his fists. "I'm going to kill you."

Meanwhile, across the city...

At the bustling, high-tech headquarters of the LEMILLION Agency, Japan's Number Two Hero was currently standing in front of a wide-eyed group of sidekick side-applicants and eager new interns. Mirio had his hands on his hips, his chest puffed out as he delivered an inspiring speech about the importance of a bright, unbreakable smile in the face of adversity.

"Remember, true heroics start from the heart! If you don't project confidence, the public won't—"

Mirio abruptly stopped, feeling a twitch on his nose.

"ACHOO!"

He let out a sneeze that silenced the agency briefing room. The interns all blinked, startled by the sudden explosion from the top hero.

Mirio rubbed his nose with the back of his forearm, blinking in confusion before a massive, goofy grin spread across his face.

"Whoops! Sorry about that, everyone!" Mirio laughed, rubbing the back of his neck cheerily. "Hmm... Ah, someone must be speaking really well of me right now!"