Lord Of Puppets

Chapter 250 – Vampire and the golem.

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<<...Golemancy.... Honestly, I’m beyond interested.>>

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<<...I want it.>>

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"You don’t want to be dungeon master?" – asked surprised Porai.

{"Yes... I don’t want to be one."}

{"Honestly speaking, I’m interested in the outside world."}

{"Originally I fought when I was born in order to survive."}

{"But after I’ve met Ariava and learned somewhat about outside world... My will to fight kind of disappeared."}

{"I wanted to learn."}

{"I wanted to explore the outside world."}

{"..."}

{"But. I was bound by the dungeon. My home."}

{"The dungeon itself is part of my existence."}

{"I know I can die and be revived by the core, but the moment the dungeon ceases to exit, then so I will die too."}

{"I don’t want to die."}

{"So I fight."}

"..."

"So, you are prisoner, in a sense."

{"Yes and no."}

{"The young dungeon core’s connection is unstable between the dungeon body and the master body."}

{"Because how weak and young connection was, I couldn’t even move too far away from the core."}

{"I was straight up chained up."}

{"However, as the core gotten older and the connection was solidified, while also the dungeon grown stronger."}

{"I’m still bound by the dungeon and I cannot move set amount of distance away from the core."}

{"However, right now? I could possibly leave the dungeon."}

"....You mean... You can leave the dungeon construct... And just wonder around in the outside world?"

{"Yes."}

{"Before the only connection that served between me and the core was the core itself, but now the dungeon itself can serve as the anchor while my main connection with the core had been fully established."}

{"My movement are no longer extremely restricted."}

"Huh... So how was the outside world after you seen it with your own two eyes?"

"..."

{"I didn’t seen it."}

"?"

"What do you mean?"

"You... You didn’t left the dungeon?" – asked confused Porai.

{"I’ve seen the outside world, through the eyes of my golems and with the authority of a dungeon master."}

{"But I’ve personally had never left the dungeon and seen the outside with my own eyes."}

{"Or more exactly, I never even attempted to see if I could go to the outside world, meaning that I don’t truly know if I can or not. I can feel it somewhat, but I’ve never tested it."}

"..."

"Why?" – asked Porai.

"..."

{"I’m scared."}

"?"

(Scared?) – thought Porai.

{"I’m always in danger."}

{"Each time I survive one thing, a more troublesome problem appears."}

{"I’ve barely survived several times.... And I was obviously not even allowed the moment of rest."}

{"As I’ve said yesterday, I’m the one creating the golems."}

{"However, I’m not all mighty and all knowing."}

{"I do my research, trying to improve my golems, my weapons or try to make discoveries that would increase the dungeon’s chances at survival."}

{"The dungeon’s growth is directly linked to me."}

{"Dungeon’s posses ability called ’monster research’. Simply put, the dungeon researches and unlocks new monsters."}

{"Evolved monsters, variant monsters and so on."}

{"However, this function isn’t working for me."}

{"Or more exactly, it is working for me, but the results are straight up beyond pathetic."}

{"This dungeon main function to secure new and powerful monsters isn’t giving me good enough results."}

"Em... Can I have explanation?" – asked Porai as Thauma began explaining in the details how the dungeon research works as well as [Dungeon Production Research] works as well as how [Dungeon Creature Research] works.

"Wait.... Oh, that.... Interesting." – said Porai who instantly started taking notes.

"So, you are saying that the dungeon possess ability to research the existence of objects and monsters, which in turn can be used to create objects or monsters?!"

"Miasma... From what I’m understanding it is like a rough material that is then converted and used as special resource used by the dungeon?"

{"Dungeon Points / DP / Miasma / Refined Miasma."}

{"You can call it any of these, since they all fit."}

"And with that refined miasma, you can pretty much do anything... Wow..."

"?"

{"You didn’t knew?"}

"Of course I didn’t! Dungeons are usually hostile to anything and everything! I honestly wasn’t even expecting you to be... Well... Talkative and cooperative?"

{"Ariava knew something about the dungeon."}

"She knew?!"

"Damn...."

(Wait.... If she.... If she knew that stuff, does that mean she has another "child"?) – thought Porai.

(...Better to speak about it and ask her later.)

"..."

"Anyway, from what you had told me."

"The normal way to obtain stronger monster is straight up impossible for you, or more exactly, it works so bad in your case that it is to the point unusable."

"Correct?"

{"Yes."}

"And in order to obtain new monsters for the dungeon to produce, you need to create them by hand first."

{"Yes."} – Thauma shown the same piece of paper as before.

{"Because of that, I’m always stuck in the dungeon, researching, developing, improving, creating."}

{"I’m not allowed to rest."}

{"Each 24 hours of a day I’m doing something."}

{"If I don’t evolve myself, then the dungeon dies."}

{"If I don’t obtain new knowledge, I won’t be able to create new golems."}

{"And since more and more enemies are coming whenever I survive."}

{"And whenever I deal with one powerful enemy, a much stronger appears right after."}

{"I need to evolve."}

{"I need to research."}

{"All in order to survive."}

"..."

"..."

"Fuck me." – said Porai with disturbed look.

"If I’m understanding this correctly, this is a straight up eternal loop, right?"

{"Pretty much."}

"..."

(Okay.... If I really and I mean REALLY fucking understand this correctly!) – thought nervous Porai.

(THEN HOW THE HELL DIDN’T HE BROKE MENTALLY?)

"..."

"Say... Are you... Alright? Like in the head?"

{"What do you mean?"}

"Well... I know you can’t get exhausted physically.... But.... What about your mind?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

(WHY HE ISN’T SAYING ANYTHING?!) – thought Porai.

{"I don’t know."} – written Thauma after long pause.

Truth to be told?

Thauma WAS broken mentally somewhat.

Or more exactly, it was always broken.

Fear.

Thauma was always terrified.

It do wants to learn about the outside world, but at the same time?

It was beyond terrified.

Thauma was "scared" by its experience as a dungeon master:

-Each time it fought new and stronger foes.

-Whenever something happened and Thauma wasn’t able to see or truly know what happened.

-Each time it learned new information about the current state of the outside world.

...

All of these scared Thauma.

Each time something happened, it was always scared.

Terrified.

Asking itself countless questions.

But having no real answers.

Thauma could be called pessimist.... But then again, sometimes this overthinking, this fear... it was what helped Thauma survived for so long.

Thauma was terrified all this time, but that fear was also the thing that was pushing the golem forward.

Even after the years after living as the dungeon master, the sense of fear never truly dulled.

The "FEAR" could be said to be part of Thauma right now.

A force that would move it forward... But also scare it.

So... Is Thauma "fine" mentally?

...

It cannot be really said.

Is it truly fine after all it had endured?

Is it truly fine after all the horrors its mind had imagined?

Is it truly fine while knowing that there are beings out there that could just wipe everything, he had built in order to defend itself?

...

Thauma state of mind.... It was at the same time, chaotic from all the fear.... Yet calm, from the sole focus to survival.

The fear... It may had never dulled, if anything, it may had even get sharpened.

But at the same time, Thauma learned how to endure it, even if it was straight up biting and ripping its mind apart.

Thauma’s mentals exhaustion... It wasn’t something that could be just laughed at.

And yet, even when it suffered.

It never stopped moving forward.

No.

It was never allowed to stop and let the fear completely swallow it.

Because if it did.

The only answer would be-

{"Death."}

{"I’m scared."}

{"I’m always scared."}

{"But at the same time, if I don’t stop moving, then I’m dead."}

{"This is the reality."}

{"If I stop even for moment, I die."}

{"And I don’t want to die."}

{"I maybe terrified of the outside world."}

{"But at the same time, I’m fascinated by it."}

{"I want to know about it."}

{"I want to understand it."}

{"I want to experience it."}

{"But at the same, I’m beyond terrified of the outside world."}

{"You. Ariava. All of you are way beyond me."}

{"And you are probably not the only beings out there who are that powerful."}

{"I’m scared."}

{"I’m always scared."}

{"Always terrified."}

{"But if don’t stop moving."}

{"If I don’t stop evolving."}

{"Then death only awaits."}

{"And the only way to survive."}

{"Is it to get stronger."}

{"Strong enough to survive."}

{"Strong enough to not get enslaved."}

{"Strong enough to be free."}

{"That is my reality."}

{"It is a question of even a choice."}

"..."

(Okay... You are not broken.) – thought Porai but with somewhat nervous expression.

(But at the same time, you are not fine....)

(... Now I know that being dungeon master isn’t really a dream job... If anything, it could be nothing more than torment.)

(And in his case? He really got fucked.)

(...)

(No. Even if he is fucked, his situation straight up forced him to adapted.)

(He said he was scared, always scared.... And I get why... He is straight up fucked.)

(This is really an endless circle of torment... And the fact remains that you have to endure it in order to survive...)

(Damn.)

(I think you really need a freaking hug.)